what's up my stalkers it's josh again on the 15th of february at approximately 11:32 in the AM.
I had a very interesting evening that is still coloring my mood today.
Nothing outright horrific happened, but I am more confused than I've been in a minute. Love is not dead, it just lays dormant until something rouses the spirit so, and then you're unable to ignore its presence. I've encountered a siren's call that would leave the ship of a less insightful man wrecked on shore. The pull of a potential life away from self imposed responsibilities, on the shore of a beautiful yet polluted beach, a decaying national park, or a two bedroom apartment in eagle rock creating art is enticing enough for me to risk looking like a fool to someone that doesn't deserve my treachery. What a vile person I am to be so vain as to confuse kindness with attraction. This has happened before and it is happening again. I cannot continue to be tricked like this by someone with a perfectly symmetrical face and the inability to say a curse word.
I feel as if I have a demon in me, poking and prodding me to return to a blessed life which I tried to escape. Whatever entitled reason I gave to escape comfort, I cannot entirely agree with now. Maybe the comfort isn't what I feel I deserve.
my 60 dollar a session student therapist will help me process that on wednesdays.
I laid awake for hours after returning home last night with a lustful spirit hanging over my head, the demon of which I share a corporal form. The Witching Hour had me bricked up. I stole from the souls of women who are trying to survive the only way they know how. I am ashamed and I am excited concurrently. The routine of browsing the boundless library of bodies to find someone who I wouldn't mind looking at for a while, fantasizing about their daily routine and how I can add to it, feeling sympathy when they are disrespected by their handlers, has become grotesque. I have less control of my impulses than I previously thought.
Also, iOS 18 fucking sucks it hasn't worked for me properly in months fix your shit apple my god the on screen keyboard should NOT be disappearing so frequently
Josh here. It's the 14th of february, VALENTINES DAY 2025, around 2:59 in the pm
I cannot go anywhere without messing up a shirt that I really like. Today, I spilled a fresh latte onto one of my favorite light sweaters and I'm sure it will stain. I'm not too broken up about it since the shirt was already starting to go, plus it was a cheap thrift store find. I knew I shouldn't have added that cinnamon to the top of the foam. I shouldn't have opened the cap. I could have avoided this.
Somehow this valentine's day, I ended up with a $20 profit off of a lovely person of whom is a fair distance away from me at the moment (chicago lol). I tried buying them lunch and they sent 20 more than I had sent them so they could buy ME lunch. The world is weird.
I spent that extra money on a submarine sandwich.
I love an italian deli. There's an air of the remainders of the old world lingering in the depths of Mario's in Glendale. Nowhere in the US can you get such a phenomenal prosciutto combo sandwich like this. If you can point it out to me, please let me know and I'll be there in about six business days.
I'm working on an animation that I hope to get out by the end of the year. It's about a bird. Here's an image of one bird that probaby won't be in the final product, but I think this character design study was cute enough to share.
Hey again. it's josh and it's the 13th of february, 2025 around 4:43 in the afternoon
can you believe it folks? it's raining in los angeles! how absolutely insane is that?
I spent a good amount of time thinking today, hoping to become a poet by sheer willpower. I've been doing this for a few weeks now and I think spite based creativity is one of my main motivators, and that assumption really bothers me. There's space for every type of person to make art, but for some reason when I see something I do not agree with, or think I can do better, that's when my competitive, creative spirit rears its head.
I went to a poetry night on accident the other day and I could not believe how subpar the writing that was on display, especially when it was written by someone who had just lost everything in one of the recent los angeles fires. That soured my opinions on the creative class out here.
Maybe I expect too much.
Anyways I have to go to work soon (boo) so I'm going to wrap this post and maybe this cup of tea up.
god what a total prick I am.
end my stupid life
P.S. Did you know (well im not actually 100% sure of this either) that the more hardcore Vaishnavas do not consume onions nor garlic? There are many disputed reasonings for this, but the one that tickles my brain the most is that the flavor induces the feelings of desire which makes sense. I want more onions and garlic all the time. This is something I discovered while scouring the internet so this may be slightly innacurate or also completely not true sometimes i just like saying shit too
Hello my name is Josh G
I made a website a few months ago that was actually really good and fairly well featured, but I left it on my computer back in Illinois. I am currently on an extended stay in Los Angeles and unfortunately I cannot remote into any of my computers back in the midwest to retrieve those precious html files.
I spent so much time on that little website, and even though it looked like hot trash, it was MY hot trash! When I get back there, that will replace this primitive slice of the web with that one.
Here's a remnant of that "lost" website that iCloud managed to archive:
Surely, I'll get this place back into tip top shape in no time.
If you want to know more about me, why? That's kind of weird. I think I just met you.
Fine. I'll tell you a little bit.
I'm a multidisciplinary artist (digital art, writing, filmmaking, photography, and music) with no real discipline to do any of it on a regular basis. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California and I reside in Chicago, Illinois... for now.
I'm a scorpio and NO you cannot have my social security number.
Too many people already know it.
Neocities seems like a cute place to run a little blog type thing. I think I'll find it quite comfortable for now.
